Crude and Feckless: poltergeist

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Poltergeist

Steve: "Wow, what an interesting day."

Diane: "You're tellin' me."

Steve: "Thank God you were able to get our daughter out of the TV, that was a close one."

Diane: "Personally, I think the high point was when the tree tried to eat our son."

Steve: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, you know that creepy clown that we got him for his birthday? It dragged him under the bed and tried to strangle him."

Diane (shakes head slowly): "Crazy clown...I'm just glad it's all over."

Steve: "Well, it's getting kind of late and we're obviously not going to move out of this house right away, I mean it's not like it's collapsed on itself or anything, so I'm gonna go out for a little while and leave you and the kids alone."

Diane: "Sounds good, I think I'll take a long bath."

Saturday, December 20, 2008

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

I'm slowly coming to the realization that nobody reads blogs on Saturdays and Sundays. At least, LESS people read MY blog on Saturdays and Sundays. Then again I have a kid, and I'm not out getting wasted on the weekend anymore. Therefore, here are some things on my mind:

There are certain movies that I ALWAYS have to watch if they happen to be on while I am going to bed. Usually there are not two on at the same time. God forbid I would have to make a choice between two favorite movies. I was put to such a choice recently. Both Jaws and Predator were on at the same time. A tiny conflict occurred in my brain, on the one hand, Predator may be the most "timeless" action movie I have ever seen, in that it could literally have come out in the theater this week and you wouldn't say that the effects, story-line, and action sequences looked dated. Plus, I fuckin' love Arnold Schwarzenegger. On the other hand, Jaws is PERFECT, albeit dated. Plus Roy Scheider saying, "Smile you son of a bitch" is probably my favorite scene in a movie EVER.

Jaws won. I did not know that about myself until I was put to the test. Sometimes you must be tested!

Which takes me to my next topic. I DO NOT like the commercial for Direct TV that uses the scene from Poltergeist where the little girl says, "They're here." That girl is dead. She died when she was young. Who pimps out a dead child to sell products? It's just not right.

Third topic. I CONSISTENTLY write "write" when I mean "right" and vice versa.

The End.