Crude and Feckless: February 2009

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Peter Pan

Wendy: "Jesus Christ! Why the hell is Tinker Bell being such a bitch?"

Peter Pan: "Oh Wendy, she's just jealous. You see, she's in love with me!"

Wendy: "In love? Why that's the most preposterous thing I've ever heard!"

Peter Pan: "Why's that Wendy? After all, Tink and I have been fighting Captain Hook together in Neverland for a long time."

Wendy: "Think about it Peter. How would you ever consummate your love? She's only six inches tall, she'd surely be killed!"

Peter Pan: "Damn girl, you dirty! Get your ass up on dis bed!"

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Top Gun

Charlie: "You're late."

Maverick: "Yeah, sorry about that."

Charlie: "Wait...what's that smell?"

Maverick: "I guess I need a shower, I was just playing volleyball."

Charlie: "You're telling me that I risked my career to invite you over for a romantic dinner and you didn't take a shower before you got here? Next thing you're going to tell me is that you played volleyball in those jeans you're wearing."

Maverick: "Well actually, I did."

Charlie: "Oh my God, that's disgusting, I can't believe I was planning on having sex with you, your crotch must smell like sulfer and walnuts by now."