1. I ask the person assigned to watch me urinate into a cup (who is standing way too close) during a random drug test if they would like to in fact "hold it for me".
2. After receiving an email that states: "If your last name begins with 'Mc', please report for random drug urinalysis," I informed the collector that they had racially profiled the Irish.
3. Being stared at by a Custom's Officer as I attempt to use the head on a merchant ship while more Custom's Officers and their dogs rip apart my room and leave dog hair everywhere.
4. After 19 days at sea and with our fresh water supply dwindling, the Chief Engineer puts up a sign in the lunch room that says: "If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow."
MOVIE LINE OF THE DAY:
"I meant, are you in here for drugs?" -Ferris Bueller's Day Off