Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Moments In My Life That Ended At The Pisser

1. I ask the person assigned to watch me urinate into a cup (who is standing way too close) during a random drug test if they would like to in fact "hold it for me".

2. After receiving an email that states: "If your last name begins with 'Mc', please report for random drug urinalysis," I informed the collector that they had racially profiled the Irish.

3. Being stared at by a Custom's Officer as I attempt to use the head on a merchant ship while more Custom's Officers and their dogs rip apart my room and leave dog hair everywhere.

4. After 19 days at sea and with our fresh water supply dwindling, the Chief Engineer puts up a sign in the lunch room that says: "If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow."
"I meant, are you in here for drugs?" -Ferris Bueller's Day Off


Pearl said...

Ahh. Memories.
While wearing a white "blazer" at the doctor's office once, I had a woman try to hand me a jar of urine. Apparently I looked like I worked there.
We were both embarrassed.

KMcJoseph said...

If I had a nickle for everytime that happened...

Scott said...

I have no urine-related stories. But that's probably a good thing.

I peed in a car park a few weeks ago, and being on a slight incline, it kinda made a shape like a guitar.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Great stories. Love it.

kokopellireader said...

I liked the "racially profiling the Irish" one. Although, technically, it was ethnic discrimination. Probably by the damn English, no doubt.