Yesterday, a man who needed to come into my office to sign paperwork left me a message on my voicemail. He said he was extremely sorry and that he was going to be late. He was having his wife drive him to the doctor.
"I have a boil," he said, "in a very unmentionable place."
"Needless to say," he said, "I am having a very hard time sitting right now."
1. I had absolutely no need to know any of this.
2. Saying "unmentionable place" makes the listener assume the very worst.
3. Why must we insist on saying "needless to say" if we are going to just say the thing anyway?
Needless to say, I told everyone...