Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Am I Being Robbed?


Forward: I was reminded of this story after a recent post by http://www.sassytwosocks.com/

Scene: NYC Subway

I had just started college and was on the subway headed to whatever bar served $5 all you could drink from 8-11. The Zoo or The Blue Moose or something, can't remember, they all blend together. Funny how the cheapest bars were also the ones that let you in when you were underage. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I'm sitting there minding my own business when a black guy in an oversized trenchcoat walks onto the train and stands in the center of the car. This is not trenchcoat weather. He waits till the doors close and the train starts moving to yell:

"EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE!"

"Fuck," I think to myself as I calmly reach for my wallet. "I've been in this city for three months and I'm already getting robbed? This sucks. Where the hell am I gonna get another $5 so I can drink all night?"

"JESUS IS COMING AND HE IS GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED OFF, BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO...." trenchcoat-man continues.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I think, "a sermon?"

I'd rather've been robbed.
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MOVIE LINE OF THE DAY:
"All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!" -Pulp Fiction

6 comments:

Sweet Cheeks said...

"JESUS IS COMING AND HE IS GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED OFF, BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO...."

...Who shut the hell up and get off the train!

Classic New York style right there! :)

Kristina P. said...

Hahaha! It's either Jesus or robbery.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Great story! Seriously though, it's scary, right?!

derfina said...

I take it it didn't just take JUST A MINUTE?

It's All Good said...

haha! we have this guy who comes every now and than to the free speech section of our campus, and tells us how were all masturbators and homosexuals are going to hell! Hey, having your own views is cool, but dont force it down our throats

Ann's Rants said...

Hi and thanks for following my blog. Too bad I'm completely out of ideas for anything interesting to write from here on out. Anyway, I lived in Chicago for 10 years and couldn't believe how many variations of this dude there are. Harmless but often ANNOYING. I'm so glad you said something to Malkovich, because I know I would've completely regretted letting that moment go...