Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Good Fella


Scene: NYC

Sometimes, when you least expect it, you get to witness something truly amazing occur right in front of you.

Like when Ashley Simpson fucked up on Saturday Night Live. I sat their with my jaw hanging open like I was at a Milli Vanilli concert.

But that isn't what this story is about.

One day in the late 90's I was walking somewhere in NYC when I witnessed something truly amazing. From my vantage point it was almost as if I were the director of a movie and I had just yelled "ACTION".

It was a beautiful summer day and it seemed like everyone I passed was in good spirits. In front of me a wedding was letting out of a church. The bride and groom emerged with giant smiles on their faces and headed towards their limo that was parked at the curb. I slowed down to watch them and to avoid walking right into a giant group of people as they left the church.

I noticed a police officer across the street, leaning against a wall watching the happy couple come out of the church. The police officer had a smile on his face and looked truly happy for the new couple. I paused on the sidewalk to decide how I would get around the large crowd that had amassed and reflected on what a nice day I was having in the greatest city in the world.

That is when the trouble started.

Directly across from church was a construction crew working on a small building. Some of them started the usual hooting and hollering but one worker who was standing on the sidewalk started yelling and making crude jokes loud enough for the newly wed couple to hear.

"I hope they get in the limo soon," I thought to myself, but the bride had stopped at the limo door and was adjusting her dress before she could get in. Both the bride and groom were pretending not to hear the construction worker, determined not to let him ruin their moment.

I looked over at where the police officer was standing only to find that he was on the move, and headed straight for the unruly construction worker at a brisk walk. As the police man walked I watched as he pulled his nightstick from his belt and placed it up against his arm so that it ran parallel from his wrist to his elbow.

I couldn't believe what I was about to see.

The construction worker, unaware of the approaching police man, continued his verbal assault.

"YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET MARRIED MAN," the construction worker yelled, "YOU GET FUCKED FOR LIFE!!!"

A split second after he finished yelling this the cop intercepted him and without breaking stride brought his forearm and the nightstick to the construction workers face. The construction worker was caught completely off guard and fell to the floor clutching his head. The police officer continued walking, turned the corner, and disappeared. A few seconds later, the construction worker got back up and shook his head. He looked embarrassed and ashamed. He turned, walked into the construction site and was gone.

Nobody on the street said a fucking word.
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MOVIE LINE OF THE DAY:
"Now you's can't leave." -A Bronx Tale
Copyright (c) 2008 http://crudeandfeckless.blogspot.com/ by Kevin McDonald

7 comments:

Braja said...

Now that's cool.

Ann's Rants said...

HOLY crap.

rn terri said...

Great story.

Sweet Cheeks said...

This story is why I miss New York. If that happened here, the cop would have pelted the construction worker with potatoes...sad.

:)

Comedy Goddess said...

Who's fucked now, construction worker dude.

RB said...

I always said the best thing about New York is that you can walk down the street crying and no one will ask if you're ok.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Dude. Bad ass.