Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Olive Garden

I know, I know, The Olive Garden isn't real Italian food.

Five words for ya.

Unlimited fuckin' breadsticks and salad.

We sit down place our orders and the food comes out. The waiter comes to check on us.

I didn't notice before, but our waiter is quite obviously stoned out of his mind.

Now I don't care if someone wants to get laced at work. Especially at a restaurant. But come on man, be a functional pot-head.

"Would you all like some more breadsticks and salad?" he asks.

"That would be great." I say.

15 minutes later our waiter shows up again (no breadsticks or salad).

"Would you all like some more breadsticks and salad?" he asks, "what did you have to drink sir?"

"Diet coke," I reply, "also salad and breadsticks."

20 minutes later our waiter shows up again (no breadsticks, no salad, no diet coke).

"Would you all like some more breadsticks and salad? he asks, "oh do you need another drink sir?" At this point, it is just funny, I am imagining that this guy thinks that it is his first time at our table every time he shows up.
It happened THREE more times.
The final time he asked, he was just as sincere as the first time.
"Would you like some more breadsticks and salad?" he asks.

Laughing, I say, "Sure, that and the bill."
"That's Naomi. And she's been working here WAY too long. But she's actually a pretty sweet girl... when she's drunk." -Waiting
Copyright (c) 2008 by Kevin McDonald


Braja said...

I don't know what to say. Funny, but it would piss me off too much...

It's All Good said...

yeah i believe that you should always show up to work sober, cause you'll end up looking dumb as fuck.. dosnt matter how much your work sucks, cause without you couldnt afford the drugs anyways haha!

Anonymous said...

I would've been tempted to say "Hey man, I'm waiting on my change. Remember? Then take the money he brings back and go eat some place where you actually get the food.

Scott said...

I'm still alive! I've just been super super busy recently. Three jobs will do that to a person.

Irish Gumbo said...

If they were really "fuckin'" breadsticks I'd probably order them every time. Might help with the sex life...

Hey, I arrived here through a very circuitous route involving Braja, Ann's Rants, two or three other blogs AND The Clash. I knew I'd heard "crude and feckless" before, couldn't place it, then heard Rudie Can't Fail on my iPod almost at the same time I read your profile and voila! all the pieces came together!

Which is a long way of saying I like what I have seen of Crude and Feckless (that NYC wedding story was AWESOME, I wish I'd seen that), I might have to keep an eye on you young man!

BTW, Annapolis? My Other Half is from Annapolis, in-laws live there still. We're just up the road a piece in Elkridge. Hola!

rn terri said...

Waiting! Love that movie.

SassyTwoSocks said...

Seriously! It is funny, but I would have been livid! the first time he mentioned breadsticks and salad I would have been salivating. Did you even get any food???