Monday, January 5, 2009

Gossip Girl


Blair: "Excuse me bartender, I'll have a dirty martini and my friend will have a..."

Chuck: "Scotch, rocks."

Bartender: "You're fucking kidding me right?"
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Chuck: "What?"
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Bartender: "I'm not serving two 16-year-olds. You think I want to go to jail?"
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Blair: "That's ridiculous, we're not 16."
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Bartender (to the other bartender): "HEY HENRY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SHIT, THESE TWO KIDS THINK I'M GONNA SERVE THEM."
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Chuck: "Hey, there's no need to make a scene."
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Bartender: "You know, usually kids wait till they're at least 18 to start sneaking into bars, and even then they sneak into hole-in-the-wall places that need the business. The drinks here cost $40 a piece, we don't need fucking kids in here, get the fuck out!"
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Chuck: "Come Blair, this guy obviously doesn't know who we are."
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Bartender: "Let me tell you something you little shit, guys like you are passed around like candy in prison, and that's exactly where you're headed, and your little girlfriend is headed straight for the bottom of the porn industry if she isn't careful."
Copyright (c) 2008-2009 http://crudeandfeckless.blogspot.com/ by Kevin McDonald

9 comments:

It's All Good said...

haha If I hear one more "OMG Do you watch gossip girl?!" so help me God...

When I heard MGMT playing in the background of one of the episodes (you know, the one where he cheats on her with the other drunk chick and like she was so like mad) I was disappointed, I know they wanna make money, but a line needs to be drawn...

SweetPeaSurry said...

I do NOT watch this show, but as always your scenerio gave me a chuckle!!!

You could probably really have some fun with some dialogue from 'Charmed'. :)

Sweet Cheeks said...

McJoe...I've decided ~ to hell with my cable. I like your shows much better. Would you run an episode of Chuck? I love that show.

Although, my word ver: is comandat...so maybe a rerun of Hogan's Heros...
(And don't think I'm forgetting that comment you left on my site....Brat!) :)

Irish Gumbo said...

Hey, have you considered a position as a career counselor? That last bit from the bartender was a doozy!

Honest, direct: just what those kids need!

Cat said...

I've never seen this show, but I think it's safe to say that if I had, I'd find this hilarious.

SassyTwoSocks said...

I heart Chuck Bass. Seriously. But this is totally what the show is like.

Braja said...

Priceless..."bottom of the porn heap?" lol...

Braja said...

Sorry about the multiple comments...had some catching up to do. Needed a laugh. Thanks :)

Molly said...

haha, this is exactly what was going through my head when i watched this show.